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The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense at Work, by Suzette Haden Elgin
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Review
“... a crash course on just how powerful the English language is—and how easily it can be misconstrued.” -- Copley News Service, September 24, 2000“Her genius is in separating what is meant…from the words that are actually spoken.” -- Dallas Morning News, Januray 23, 2000“She interweaves lessons agreeably with examples that read like fiction.” -- American Way, February 2000
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About the Author
Suzette Haden Elgin is the author of the bestselling Gentle Art series and The Grandmother Principles. She is associate professor emeritus of linguistics at San Diego State University and the author of two linguistics texts, as well as numerous science fiction novels. Founder and director of the Ozark Center for Language Studies, she is nationally recognized for her seminars and public speaking engagements as well as for her appearances on television and radio programs, including Weekend Today and National Public Radio.
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Product details
Paperback: 340 pages
Publisher: Prentice Hall; 1st edition (January 19, 2000)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0735200890
ISBN-13: 978-0735200890
Product Dimensions:
6 x 1 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.1 out of 5 stars
45 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#235,697 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Teaches you how to listen before speaking… would recommend to any person who wants to learn how to circumvent and diminish difficult discussions before you get started. Got someone who gets in your face, this will help set up the discussion with that problematic dialogue and you will be surprised at the increase in the channel of communication; you may end up liking that person. ALSO, if you are the person who gets in other people's face it will help you formulate your critiquing and be more effective.
This is a superb book, but you'll have to dig for the good parts. It's an indispensable reference for learning about the games people play and how to play them so you can defend yourself when someone at work is trying to 'mess with your head.' Don't be put off by the 'Gentle' part. You'll really learn how to stand up for your point of view without turning to anger and ineffective communication.Dr. Elgin provides an understanding from a linguistics perspective, as opposed to a psychological one, although she references a lot of psychological articles and studies. It is part scholarly work, part early self-help era work. A lot of the references are old and you can tell the 'at work' version is somewhat slapped together to have another 'contemporary edition' book to sell.That's OK, as there is enough instructive content to outweigh the flaws of this book. Flaws include poor editing. There are scenarios and things that often left me in 'left field,' but once I started skipping around the book it was easy to find the good stuff. Persevere and you'll get a lot of good from this seminal work on 'workplace bullying.' I've wasted a lot of money on books trying to come to terms with this issue.Dr. Elgin lets no one off the hook. She clarifies how one becomes a victim and how to dodge this vulnerability with sound techniques. She also points out how you can learn what needs work in your own language and personality that turn off others, so that you can correct yourself.I like the book so well, despite it's shortcomings, I'm getting for friends and colleagues!
I wish I had access to this book 27 years ago. Excellent.
Elgin's Gentle Art formula is mind-shaking. Really, it is the most profound and impactful 'self-help' like thing I have ever had the pleasure of studying.If you already know her formula then get this book to share with other employees. Otherwise get it for yourself and you will be amazed at how many ways her paradigm will help out every single day.
Good
Avery helpful book when dealing with negative people
To me English being my second language the book series of Gentle Art of Verbal Self -Defense were very useful. I did not realise, that subtle verbal aggression is so common. I used some of the techniques described to a very good effect. For people who have never been on the receiving end of this type of passive intimidation probably difficult to comprehend its usefulness. In my opinion to ignore such a form of broken communication only gives the perpetrator the courage to continue.
This book is not only about dealing with verbal garbage at work, it is about understanding the language of the work world. As usual, Elgin's observations and examples are insightful and extremely helpful. She hits the nail squarely on the head, and as I read it, I can see and hear events from my workplace described. I wish everyone at work would read this, we would all interact more productively!
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